No one wants to be a boring woman. A boring woman limits herself in building strong, lasting relationships. We want to be magnetizing and not someone who constantly repels others. A person may not even be aware of their dull energy. So how can we identify the ways of a boring person and what are some ways we can elevate our personality or allow it to shine through?
The Signs
1. Superficial. It is very difficult to engage in a deep conversation with someone who is boring. They tend to talk too much about tedious and unimportant things. It’s okay to talk about the weather or your pets but don’t let it be the focus of your conversations on a regular basis.
2. Negativity. This is a person who complains constantly. They never see the positive in anything. For example, at a restaurant, the food is always too spicy, too salty, too bland. They are hard to please yet they rarely give suggestions on alternatives. Or you may comment on how beautiful the day is. They may complain, “But it’s so hot”, or “I wish it wasn’t so humid out” or “But it sure looks like it gonna rain!”
3. Apathetic. They rarely seem engaged. They show little eye contact or emotion. You will rarely see them get excited.
4. Conversation Narcissist. They are not content unless they are talking about themselves and their problems. They lack interest in the going-ons of your life. They have no self-awareness when it comes to talking too much. When it comes to telling stories, it takes forever for them to finally get to the point. They may even lack social awareness when it comes to reading cues and facial expressions of the ones they are speaking with. Others may be exasperated at their monopolization of the conversation.
5. Predictability. They rarely express or have any opinions on a matter. They may agree with everything. If your responses tend to be short and undetailed, you are giving the other person less to work with within a conversation.
6. Consumed in the Digital World. Simply put: Place that conversation-killer somewhere else. Your phones can be the biggest drain on your personal development and time. You are no longer content with the normalcies and natural flow of life but you find yourself needing constant, artificial stimulation.
Boring Ends Here
So once a bore always a bore? G.K. Chesterton wrote, “There are no uninteresting things, only uninterested people”. But have no fear! You don’t have to banish yourself to a life of boring mediocrity. The key is developing yourself as a person. Be open to new experiences by getting out and exploring the world. Start with your community. Locally, how about becoming a tourist in your hometown? Visit an art gallery or a park. Look online for local, upcoming events. Many of them are free of charge. Engage in conversations with the people there. At a loss on what to talk about? Talk about your goal to have new, meaningful experiences and to enjoy life a little more. Ask the person if they have suggestions on where to go around town that they have enjoyed personally. Try to filter yourself a bit less. Don’t always avoid being polarizing.
Volunteering is another wonderful way to develop your soul. Choose a cause in your community. You may not be passionate about assisting others yet, but you surely have a soft spot for something. Is it the elderly, disadvantaged children, single mothers who are struggling, the disabled, or even animals? There are many programs out there that involve delivering meals, picking up trash in the community, fundraisers for diapers, and finding homes for animals. This is only the beginning of what’s out there.
Get your body moving with exercise. When you are constantly in an idle state, your mind goes into an idle state. Negativity can easily set in. Your choice of exercise doesn’t have to be intense, even a brisk walk will do. Engaging your muscles and getting your blood pumping does something to your brain. It becomes more open and ready to receive new experiences.
Not quite ready to venture on the outside? Pick up a book. Reading is hands down one of the greatest builders of character that you can do from the comfort of your own home. Unfortunately, many people have the love of reading beaten out of them in grade school, with forced readings of not-so-interesting literature that is hard to understand. Now the books you read are in your control. You can read about a variety of topics and become knowledgeable about many things. I love going to local thrift stores and perusing the shelves of books yet to be discovered. The subjects are innumerable. Reading stories about people’s lives builds empathy as we try to understand the world from another person’s perspective. You stay in tune with different emotions and thoughts. Reading grows your vocabulary which will help you to be more confident in expressing yourself. Reading is a stress reliever. It has a transportive nature, allowing you to momentarily escape frustrating parts of your life. Your mood will change. You will embrace more positivity and less negativity.
Challenge yourself to learn something new every single day. Find a sense of wonder. There is a direct relationship between curiosity and being interesting. Soon with time and effort, you will become a more interesting person.