Recently, I came upon an older photo of myself at a relative’s wedding. I was flipping through photos, feeling nice and comfortable in a perfect spot on the sofa. Everything was good until I came upon a particular photo, and then I was mortified. And I mean with a capital ‘M’.
I had just discovered lace front wigs and I decided, what could be easier than to wear one on this special occasion, especially while traveling away from home? To put it gently, it looked as though I put a helmet on my head. Complete with a center lace part that was meant to mimic my scalp, but we all know they never look quite realistic. The wig heaped up on the top of my head, where I hid my scalp braided hair underneath. It even looked as though I only had half a forehead due to the placement of the wig. This picture was embarrassing. I didn’t have the mental fortitude to even find the picture for this article! Later on, I came to realize, weaves can at times detract from your femininity and softness.
Some weaves can be tastefully done, particularly when they are braids or hair that is similar to your own hair texture. Slicked back hair with a long, straight ponytail can be lovely as well. The styles that tend to distract are super silky and wavy weaves, wigs, long, exaggerated weaves, and even wigs that mimic the colors of the rainbow.
If you grew up in the 80s or 90s, weaves were almost nonexistent. Aside from braids, if you wore a weave, you were made fun of. “Give that horsey back its hair” some would shout. The wearing of wigs was isolated to our grandmothers or performers and entertainers. To digress a moment, young girls were also made to get relaxers during the 80s and 90s, which may explain the climate of not seeing weaves as the norm. As more black women started to go natural with their hair, there was a huge surge in the hair weave industry. It seemed as though many women wanted to embrace having natural hair for a variety of reasons, but they became disappointed in their hair texture, the maintenance, the time commitment, or even the length of their hair. It’s worth noting, that natural hair can be styled as an Afro, a twist out, in a slicked-back style, or even blow-dried or straightened. It’s personal preference.
Some weaves can be disguised as ‘protective styles’. But surely we don’t need to protect our hair 365 days a year. Are we protecting it or hiding it? ‘Protective’ weaves are also linked to gradual hair loss. It’s worth noting, that some women wear weaves due to hair loss, thinning hair, or even because they just love the idea of changing up their look in a drastic way with the use of weaves. Fake hair is fake hair. In reality, can many of these looks appear unattractive, harsh to the eyes, and possibly even comical? Generally, they do and that is the harsh reality no matter our reason for wearing them. If you are interested in having a softer, more feminine appearance, your hair is an important aspect of the total package you want to present.
Our hair is a huge part of our identity. Is it possible to love our hair in its natural state? It sure is. But if you are not there yet, it’s okay. This is a heavy subject that brings a lot of conversation but the focus of this article is not on the reasons behind why you may wear a weave or a wig but if the look of it may actually be a distraction from embracing a softer, more feminine appearance, if that is your goal. Let’s take it step by step. If the use of weaves is the only option for you, try implementing any of these suggestions:
- Try choosing hair textures that are similar to your natural pattern
- Avoid full-head wigs and lace front wigs
- Experiment with clip-in styles
- Wear ponytail weaves
- Avoid hair with exaggerated and high densities that are in stark contrast to your own natural density. High-density weaves tend to scream “It’s showtime!”
- Choose a wig/weave that allows some of your hair to be exposed for a more polished look
Embracing and loving your natural hair is possible! If we are not there yet, use weaves to add to and enhance our beauty and not to distract from it.