Being an elegant woman is never a trend or fad. It will never go out of style. Elegance is a mindset, a way of life. And you know what? It’s here to stay.
What is Elegance?
First let’s define elegance. It’s someone who is refined, graceful and attractive in their behavior and appearance. It is far removed from snobbery and being uptight. In fact, elegance has no bearing on your income, social status or how you were raised.
I will be the first to admit that there are some woman who naturally have this beautiful, refined way about them. It looks almost effortless and is absolutely breathtaking. The way they walk, the way they speak, the way they move their hands, exudes elegance and grace.
But don’t despair, elegance can be developed if you are willing to put in the work. The degree of how well refined and polished it is, will also depend on your own individual circumstances.
I have noticed trends online and on social media where women attempt to “incorporate” elegance into their lives. Perhaps with a brand new, expensive handbag or pair of high end shoes. But elegance cannot be bought. It comes from within.
Let’s look at 10 ways we can exude Elegance:
1. Eye Contact
Let’s make twiddling our thumbs and looking down at our feet a thing of the past. Own your presence. Maintaining eye contact is one of the single most important ways we can exude elegance. And of course always adding a gentle smile is a plus.
2. Properly Greeting and Respectfully Interacting with Others
An elegant and classy lady doesn’t speak like a child or have mannerisms like a teenager. Her voice doesn’t have a trendy vocal fry nor is her speech ridden with slang. She doesn’t use offensive language. Whether you are greeting someone for the first time or are engaged in an in-depth conversation, speak properly and with respect.
3. Say “Yes” or “Pardon”
Nothing sounds more like a set of screeching tires than when a person responds to a question they did not hear correctly with “What?” It’s just so abrasive. ‘What” is just not a proper and elegant response.
Next time we fail to hear someone correctly, instead of responding with “what?”, let’s substitute it with: “Yes”, “Pardon”, “Come again, please”. It will be like honey drizzled on a biscuit.
4. Table Manners/Dining Etiquette
Sitting down and being fully engaged when you dine with family or friends is such a luxurious and elegant experience in itself. Be committed to being totally present. Phones unplugged, paced eating to savor the meal, relaxed conversation.
The environment has no bearing on the elegance of the situation. You can be dining at home or at a restaurant no matter how quaint or high end. At home, you can even bring the level of elegance up a notch by setting your table with your favorite dishes or china, glasses and cutlery. Become fascinated with the everyday.
5. Arriving on Time/ Be Punctual
A elegant woman who highly values herself and others is respectful of other people’s time. On occasion, there will be situations out of your control that will cause you to be late. But this is the exception to the rule.
In the event you are running late, show your appreciation and acknowledgement of the other person’s time by letting them know you are running late and then give an estimated time of arrival. Once you have arrived at your meeting place, apologize and thank them for their kindness in waiting for you.
6. Listen More Than You Speak
Have you ever been in the company of someone who could not stop talking, particularly about themselves and their problems? It is always good to take a step back and analyze ourselves and make sure we are not that person.
We already know our thoughts and take on a subject or situation, so instead of interjecting our thoughts at every chance we get, wouldn’t it be so much more enriching to learn and listen to the views of others?
We can take it a step further and ask the other person open ended questions about their thoughts. You can even show your listening skills by repeating the information they just mentioned to you.
For example, you and your friend Tina are having a discussion about your weekends and what you did. Tina tells me “I had a great weekend. My husband and I rode our bikes and then we stopped to grab some ice cream. By the end of it, we were exhausted. When we got home, I just took a shower and crawled in the bed.” Instead of immediately talking about our own weekend, let’s try to genuinely savor our friend’s weekend experience. I can reply “ You must still be worn out! You have to tell me more about this bike ride. Where did you guys ride to? Oh and what was that ice cream flavor?” The point is be an invested and involved friend.
Another tip: try not to relate a person’s experience or issues back to yourself and your own situation. Try not to overshadow their input. Give them ownership of their experience.
7. Avoid being Loud or Responding in an Unkind Way
An elegant woman does not speak in a loud or brash way and she will not engage in a threatening or disrespectful situation.
8. Refined Posture
Don’t slouch or hunch over. An elegant lady stands up straight and sits up with her back straightened. This not only exudes elegance but confidence as well.
9. Slow, Intentional Living and Movements
Calm down. Slow your pace. Go easy on your words. Don’t rush conversations. Take deep breaths. Plan ahead when you have errands to run or an event to attend to, so there will be no anxiety to rush.
10. Properly Introduce Others
Always properly introduce others whether at work or in a social setting. It shows that those you introduce are important to you. You may be speaking to a friend or colleague then another friend or colleague comes along. The two do not know one another. You use their names, provide details of how you know one another and introduce them to one another.
Slowly incorporate these tips to your everyday and you will be on the path to elegance success.